Wine Snobs

Wine Snobs

I recently came upon some thoughts published by Melanie Armstrong. Melanie is a wine lover/author/teacher who loves both wine and the people who enjoy wine. Her attitude is very much like ours and I wanted to share it with you. Here is Melanie:

Turn Up Your Nose..When you see a wine snob coming, go the other way

By Melanie Armstrong

Wine snobs are everywhere. They lurk in the dark corners of fine dining establishments and behind the French section at retail stores. Whether it's the snotty sommelier who snarls with disgust when you order the house white or a friend who drones on about his self-proclaimed superior knowledge of varietals, they pounce, project and leave you feeling puny.

As a wine educator, I feel it is my duty to expose the wrongs inflicted upon the wine-drinking public by these arrogant egomaniacs. They are a hindrance and an embarrassment, further alienating potential wine lovers from an already daunting world of wine. "Down with the wine snobs!" I say.

Yes, wine can be overwhelming. Consider there are only 22 certified Masters of Wine in the United States. To understand wine comprehensively is to study geography, history, culture and science. But wine snobs make the undertaking even more excruciating. It seems in wine there is a tendency for those with knowledge (especially just enough to be dangerous) to leverage that knowledge to make others feel inferior. Knowledge—especially wine knowledge—is powerful. There's a certain refinement associated with vino, and knowing about wine exudes sophistication. The result is wine snobbism: people using their little bit of information to make themselves look or feel good, at the expense of others.

Not sure if you're in the presence of a true wine snob or just an overzealous wine lover? Here's a guide to help you decide:

1. Wine snobs make you feel bad

Wine lovers make you feel smart, while wine snobs make you feel inferior. Wine snobs are ultimately projecting their own feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt onto you, an innocent wine-drinking victim. When you truly know a lot, you've got nothing to prove. The people I respect most in the wine business—the people with the most knowledge and passion—are also the most humble. They could bury that snotty sommelier in their wine wisdom, but they don't. They help people navigate through wine in a friendly, non-threatening way, and they only give as much info as they gauge their company wants. They know when to keep it simple, and when to shut up. They foster new wine drinkers, providing them with a gentle nudge when they need it, empowering them with information.

2. Wine snobs don't drink cheap wine

Their loss! It's true that most life-altering, stop-you-in-your-tracks wines come with a hefty price tag. But some of my most memorable bottles have been great because they were cheap. As in,

"Wow, this is really great juice. I can't believe it's only $12." Wine lovers love a bargain. Wine snobs who discount wine because it's not expensive enough are missing the boat.

3. Wine snobs buy "penis wines"

Selling premium wines for six years to retail and restaurants, I quickly learned to weed out the wine lovers from the wine snobs. Wine snobs bought wine based solely on ratings—usually from Robert Parker or Wine Spectator. True wine lovers bought based on passion and taste: their own. They trusted their palates, and their ability to sell something they loved to their customers.

The same can be said for end users. The average wine snob cellar is full of what I like to call "penis wines." Penis wines score big in the ratings, metrics that go over well with people who don't know that much but want to seem like they do. They buy less for enjoyment and more for bragging rights—as in, "Have you seen my 100-pointer?" It's hard to prove these guys are overcompensating for anything in particular, but just like that bald guy in the corvette convertible, it's seems pretty obvious.

A note on numerical wine scores: There are certain things a wine critic can help you evaluate, such as a wine's balance and complexity. But when it's all said and done, there's a lot of personal preference that goes into a numerical rating. Wine is like food or cars or women—totally subjective. Drink what you like, not what a critic tells you that you should. I know some people say they rely on critics' reviews because they can't possibly drink enough wine to sort out all the good from the bad. I hear that. So instead of leaning on Bob Parker, whom you have never met and who cares nothing about you, how about trusting your favorite wine retailer? Tell them what you like and why you like it. They can find you other similar wines.

4. Wine snobs don't drink merlot or chardonnay

Wine is like fashion in that grape varietals occasionally go in and out of style with the general public. I can just see Heidi Klum pouting into her glass of merlot, "You're either in or you're out." When a wine goes out of fashion, wine snobs are the first to jump on the bandwagon and start bashing.

Ever since the movie Sideways, merlot has been pummeled by the public. The antagonist Miles, a bona fide wine snob, set the course by continually denouncing merlot and praising pinot noir. Believe it or not, that movie had a major effect on the wine business and left producers scrambling to keep up with the demand for pinot. The irony comes at the end of the movie however, when Miles drinks his coveted 1961 Cheval Blanc out of a styrofoam cup. Cheval Blanc is a wine from Bordeaux, France, comprised of about half and half cabernet franc and, you guessed it…merlot!! The truth about merlot is that it has a plump, fleshy character which most of the time benefits greatly from blending with a more structured grape like cabernet sauvignon or cabernet franc. However, to write off the entire grape completely is ridiculous. There are serious, classic, beautiful wines made from merlot.

Similarly, California-style chardonnay (the dripping-with-oak and movie-theater-buttered-popcorn breed) has been out of fashion for a while now. I find it so amusing when wine snobs think they are gaining entrance into an exclusive club by proclaiming, "Uhhhhh, I hate chardonnay." If they were true wine lovers they could never say that. They would know that chardonnay is a chameleon, taking on a huge range of styles depending on where it's grown and how it is treated in the winery. They would know that some of the most glorious white wines in the world—including white Burgundy and Champagne, are made of chardonnay. But then again, they are more concerned with showing off and trying to appear sophisticated than being humble and asking the questions they need to know to come to that realization.

All that being said, if you drink wine on a regular basis, you are likely to encounter a wine snob from time to time. Now you know how to recognize their kind. When you find yourself in the presence of one, the best reaction is to stay calm and still, smile and nod as if you are thoroughly enraptured in their geek speak, and then quickly make your stealthy exit when they pause for breath. (They have to at some point.) You might want to make an excuse they can relate to, like needing to refill your glass. In an emergency situation, you may be forced to spill wine on yourself or someone else in order to provide distraction, and certain escape.